Spirituality

Spirituality

This trip began as one with a vague notion of adventure and personal growth.

As we discarded our house, possessions, and ties we found ourselves experiencing a great release and joy. Our stresses of life were bound to all of the stuff and activities that we thought were part of normal life. Once we lived in just a tiny one-bedroom cottage with the simplest of furnishings we found that our minds relaxed. No more cars and commutes. Household chores became a pleasure instead of a burden. We did not really anticipate these great benefits of shedding all of our stuff, and were just downsizing since we had finished the family-raising phase of our life and getting rid of stuff in preparation for our trip. But we discovered some basic truths of a simple life, and liked it. Stresses melted away.

In Pasadena we attended a Unitarian church. It had a great feel --inspiring, ethical people engaged in social action. Not much dogma, but instead encouraging and even demanding active exploration of beliefs. We read a book or two and re-opened our eyes to questions and thoughts we had deferred for twenty five years.

Starting the trip in Japan, we were drawn to the Buddhist temples and wondered about their meaning. We watched people pray and prostrate at public temples, give offerings and then disappear back into the crowd. Religion was not something done only on Sundays, but just part of ordinary life.

We saw monks in Thailand, rejecting nearly everything material, relying on the generosity of others even for their daily food. The lay people supported them as part of their own practice.

We attended a meditation retreat without a clear understanding of why, but needing to get in touch with something. We didn't really understand much of what was taught. In fact, it seemed way too dry, too focused on self enlightenment, devoid of any meaning here on earth.

In China, we learned the importance of a theological belief. During communism, the fundamental belief was that everyone was contributing, that no one is more important that any others, and that projecting yourself ahead of others was immoral. These beliefs supplanted religion as a basis for determining proper social behavior. With the retreat of communism from economics and religion, a spiritual void was created. Some filled it with capitalism (and the corresponding rise of greed, depression, drug use, ...) but others are still searching.

In Africa, we saw the importance of religion at the family level. Both Muslim and Christian practices were strongly supporting the development of the family. Both provided great support and joy, with tight families. In India, we saw the power of the traditions in bringing together a community through the Jewish Sabbath celebration.

We listened to the Buddhist teachings at McLeod Ganj, and read introductory books. The teachings seemed to help bring our fuzzy ideas into a little better focus. At least, it seemed like a path worth following to develop our own beliefs. We continued to read, attend teachings, and join more retreats.

Ironically, studying Buddhism has helped us to understand Christianity better. Buddhism adds the element of meditation (calming and sharpening the mind) which in Christianity is usually reserved for monks. Christianity emphasizes compassion in our daily lives, which we thought was lacking in Thai Buddhism. In fact, both traditions include both elements. Buddha's teachings of compassion are preserved in Mahayana traditions of other countries. The Christian religious leaders preserve meditative practices in the monasteries.

The basic teachings are very similar in their implications for our daily life. At the esoteric level, Buddhism includes more detailed metaphysical explanations of reality, but in fact the Buddha himself was not too interested in these topics since they can lead to intellectual debate instead of spiritual practice. Instead, both traditions emphasize ethical living and working for the happiness of others.

I have always been skeptical of the miracles and stories of the new testament. Since it was passed down as an oral tradition before being written, there was plenty of chance for alteration. Adding a few miraculous tales was bound to help get the attention of the commoners! But in India my mind opens up to more possibilities.

The western mind has taken the powerful scientific method of requiring empirical evidence to evaluate alternative ideas, and replaced it with the easier approach of just rejecting that which is not understood. That is not the scientific method either --it is just laziness. The true sign of intelligence is the ability to hold conflicting thoughts simultaneously, and the role of science is to use evidence to discount some of those ideas. Science actually rarely proves anything correct, only slowly prunes ideas contradicted by evidence. Those ideas for which no evidence exists can neither be considered true or false, they are just ideas for which we have not figured out how to find evidence in support or opposition, so are outside the realm of science but not invalid.

In Christianity, faith is simply demanded. Followers are told to accept as a matter of faith the immaculate conception, the miracles of loaves and fishes, the healings, the resurrection, and that Jesus is the son of God. In Buddhism faith is equally important, but is not demanded. Instead there is a gradual path while faith develops. At first, practitioners are told to not accept anything unless they experience the truth first hand. Skepticism is encouraged, and this produces stronger faith eventually.

For example, do not just assume that we should help others. Instead think deeply about times that we were kind and about times we were not. What was the effect on the other person? On ourselves? What can we tangibly say was different? What was the effect on our mind (calming or agitating?). What did we feel in our stomachs, or in the rush of blood to the face. What was pleasant, or what interfered with clear thinking? What were the consequences for us and others? Only once we amass the evidence that helping others is a good practice should we strive to become more compassionate. This helps cultivate a deep understanding. For example, we will find the benefits of helping others so great that any rewards of recognition will fall short. Instead, the benefits are more subtle, more internal, and more personal. We see that our motivation is a very important component of helping others. If we discover that we are helping others only in appearance, but really our motivation is selfish, then we find that the benefits are just that recognition, which inevitably is insufficient and we end up feeling under appreciated. By being very deliberate and conscious of the state of our mind, we can easily judge good and bad, right and wrong.

It is this type of deep understanding of ourselves and our mind that leads Buddhists to develop faith. The basic creed of ethics of Christianity and Buddhism is the same. The difference is that the Buddhist has developed conviction through personal experience. That helps during difficult times. There is no thought of situational ethics, or of what we can get away with. Whenever rules are externally imposed, we try to renegotiate them, to bend them. We do not know the exact limits and can convince ourselves of exceptions in grey zones. In Buddhism, the rules are internal personal rules, based on experience, so there is no way to bend the rules. We know the consequences. Or if we do not, then we can experiment and watch the consequences. If we are properly observant, we will deepen our understanding of right and wrong.

So ultimately spirituality is becoming very simple for us. It is a matter of living deliberately, based on ethics and compassion for others, and reflecting on our actions and the consequences. One reality quickly realized is that thought precedes all speech and action. Calming and sharpening the mind is the way to improve the quality of our speech and action. This is the key element of Buddhism that we found helps explain the path perhaps better than Christianity --it provides the "how" to develop into a better person, more in keeping with the examples of Jesus or Buddha. Calming and sharpening the mind are the keys to gaining understanding about ourselves, which necessarily precedes understanding others.

Much of the torment that we face, we create ourselves. For example, we are frustrated when we cannot acquire something. Why? Frustration is simply the difference between expectation and reality. We created expectation that did not come true. The problem itself is not real. It is our own fantasy, our own made-up expectations. The same is true when we feel undervalued, or slighted by others. Others just say words to us. We choose their meaning and our reaction. We make elaborate expectations of what people should say, and then we create even more elaborate interpretations of what they did say, and why. But in reality, all there is, is just the words. That is all. We create so much frustration by getting tangled up in our own mental creations. Such is the value of a calm and sharpened mind. We can simply allow things to be as they are. 

For example, a sound in the middle of the night is just that. It is not an evil neighbor plotting to keep us awake. It is not the cause of poor sleep, and grouchiness the next day. It is just a sound. Our mind created all of the other garbage that we attach to it. Interestingly the more that we consider things this way, the less important they become. Our frustrations, despair and suffering just seem to melt away. And a deep inner peace arises.

We also find that shallow happiness through pleasure is uninteresting. We even see it sometimes as a source of frustration, since we cannot always have pleasure. We all know that drug addicts start seeking pleasure and end up miserably controlled by the drugs. But we do not recognize that we do the same when we get attached to following the latest trend, taking meals at nice restaurants, having the latest gadget, or such. We get only a short pleasure and then need more. Fran and I learned this lesson with the great release as we abandoned the material accumulations. The less that we had and the less we desired, the happier we were. It was a much more profound happiness than that acquired through all of the possessions. Especially as we travel we see that the happiest people are those living very simple lives.

So we achieve great inner calm by neither judging things to be good or bad, but just accepting them as they are. Clearly that does not mean that we accept things that are wrong --if we can stop a thief we should do so (as Fran did on the train in China, much to his surprise!). But we need not wrap everything up in complicated mental constructions. Even the thievery is simply that --a man reached out and took another's wallet. Fran just took the wallet back and returned it to the owner. That is all. She did not need to imagine all of the motivation of the thief, his evil nature, his bad upbringing, or conjure up notions of the corrupt nature of all Chinese. We make all of that up, and it gets in the way. Life is much simpler than we make it out to be. If we just observe what is really there, before we add all the baggage to it, then it is easy to live each day.

Ultimately we realize that the way to real happiness is by helping others. Not because of some religious doctrine, or to secure a place in heaven, and not to get recognition. But simply because it turns out that that is the way our souls and our minds work --that is what produces the most profound joy. We shed the temporary pleasures, quit worrying over all of life's speed bumps, and just live life in the present. A good creed is to live each day so that there are no regrets if you die tonight. When we think of death we do not usually worry whether we might not have purchased a new car in time, but instead worry that we have done our best for those people around us. Once we are really in touch with ourselves, with a calm and sharp mind, our focus will naturally be to serve others. We see that that is the path to joy, and follow it. So the path is simple --calm the mind by discarding our desires and aversions, sharpen the mind through careful observation of the effect of our thoughts, speech and actions, and then follow our natural inclination to serve others. It doesn't really matter what religion you call it. What matters is that we find a path and begin deliberately walking it.

Mahatma Gandhi summed it up:

• Living ethically requires seeing things just as they are, avoiding the passions of aversion or attraction, and especially the emotion of anger.
• Living ethically and developing mental concentration enable self purification (pure motivation, consistent with a deep understanding of truth).
• Purity of self enables a life of non-violence/non-harm (ensuring that our actions have no negative consequence for others).
• Embracing ALL other living beings as equally important to you and living a life of non-violence/non-harm enables experiencing the full breadth of divine truth.
• The only God is divine truth.